Musings on Self-Acceptance

Anxiety: important to our survival?

We try hard to be calm – we meditate – practice relaxation – go to see a therapist if we are anxious and, in general, feel that there is something “wrong” with us if we are not calm, popular, and successful leaders.

I’m a big fan of self-care and helping people get relief from anxiety that is getting in the way of having a good quality of life. I also believe that we can be way too hard on ourselves.

There is so much input, today, on how we should be and, as a result, it is often difficult to feel “good enough” just as we are. As health practitioners, I worry that we may, unintentionally, support the notion that being a certain way is “best” – that, for instance, all of us should be calm, confident, secure and social.

From my posts, I imagine you are aware that I’m a strong supporter of self-acceptance and self-compassion. So, when I heard about this article from a research group that I belong to, it sure got my attention. Thanks, Judy!

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What am I supposed to do if I don’t diet?

If you read my last post, hopefully, you now realize that dieting can do more harm than good. And you might be thinking, “well, what am I supposed to do if I don’t diet? ”  Over the next few posts, I am going to be sharing some ideas about non-diet approaches to getting “un-stuck” with overeating. Read More

Let’s NOT diet in the New Year

Hi Everyone! Happy New Year! I think you would have to be living under a rock to miss the message that now is the time to set those New Year’s resolutions to “start your diet and lose the weight”.

I was listening to an ad by one of weight loss companies and they were touting their new service of “emotional” or “brain” coaches. I apologize as I can’t remember the exact terminology. I was thinking, Hmmm, they felt the need to add it….. they are still searching for ways to promote success….what does that say about how much long-term success they actually have? If they were successful to begin with, why the need for bigger and better approaches? And a more basic question, why are they still even in business, if they are so successful?

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What if a New Year’s Resolution only had to last for a moment?

Hard to believe that 2014 is on its way out and that 2015 is just around the corner, isn’t it? I hope that your holidays were filled with many moments of joy!

And here we are again – time for those New Year’s resolutions! I feel torn today as I write this because my mind is going in two directions. I want to write about resolutions and I am, also, aware that this is the time when all the ads will start for the “best” plans for weight loss. As you can imagine, I definitely have thoughts about that!

firestarterMaybe I will start with resolutions and then move on to dealing with pressures to diet in the New Year.

I really was never very good at resolutions. They felt daunting to me – too big – too much time. And then there was that sense of failure that seemed inevitable….. I think somehow I knew that I wouldn’t follow through and just didn’t want to set myself up for the failure.  This was usually because it was something I thought that I “should” do, with it being a new year and all – I should be working on myself and setting a resolution.   I don’t think that I am alone in that, am I? I think, for the most part, resolutions are either quickly forgotten or just become another thing we didn’t accomplish.

So in general, I am not a big fan of resolutions. I do think there are ways we can increase our ability to stick with our goals. Maybe that will be a topic for another post. But as I was thinking about it this morning, I wondered, what if resolutions only had to last for a moment?

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An old diet wire or “I’ve blown it, now, so I might as well eat….”

 

Before I share with you something that I’ve been thinking about, I want to take a moment to check in with you about what drew you to this blog post?  I am wondering if you are dealing with compulsive or emotional eating  or whether you have dieted and regained the weight – possibly many times?    Are you ashamed of your body and do you feel like life would be better if you were thinner?  Are you tired of feeling like a failure?  Would you like to create peace with your body and with food?  If so, I am glad you are here!  These struggles can be so isolating and my hope with this blog is to provide a “place” where women, and men, can connect, share, gain ideas and information about healing their relationship with food and their bodies, in a diet/body-judgment “free zone”. I hope it also serves as a source of hope that this healing is possible! 

I’d love to hear what drew you here and what you might like to learn about, or feel supported around, by this blog. So, please leave me a comment below and be sure to sign up, right to the side of this post, if you would like to automatically receive links to new posts as they are published.

Okay, on to what is on my mind today….

I recently read a quote which was shared by Kathy Kater, LICSW a Psychotherapist, Consultant and Author of Healthy Bodies: Teaching Kids What They Need to Know (curriculum) and Real Kids Come in all Sizes: Ten Essential Lessons to Build Your Child’s Body Esteem.  The quote was from the August 1, 2014 Bottom Line Publication.   Here is the quote:

“Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks.” Marilyn Wann –  American author and activist.lettuce Read More

Self-compassion and the holidays

Do those two things go together for you – self-compassion and the holidays?  Are you filled with understanding, acceptance and loving kindness, for yourself, during the holidays? I am imagining that if you are like most people, the holidays bring up more worry and stress than kindness and understanding, for oneself, and if you struggle with your weight or eating, maybe there is that, all too familiar, swing between being “good” and “what the heck”.

I want to spend a little time in this post talking about how adding some self-compassion might be worth considering this holiday season.  I am going to direct this toward eating and the ideas apply to any stress you might be experiencing this holiday season.  If you are unfamiliar with the idea of self-compassion, it basically has to do with seeing ourselves, just as we are in the moment, with kindness, acceptance and without any judgment while, at the same time, realizing that we all struggle. It is part of being human.  So what would adding some self-compassion look like?

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Creating a Body Acceptance ~ Diet-Free Zone

Hello and welcome to my very first blog post!

This blog grew from a desire, expressed by the participants in my on-going women’s group, Flourish, for more places where they might feel the safety, that they feel in group, to work on body acceptance/pride and other skills, like mindfulness and attuned eating, without the constant pressure to diet or feel like they “should” be losing weight. I know this isn’t exactly what they had in mind, as they had hoped for more in-person connection, and maybe it will be a “place” where women can connect and talk with each other about self-care in a diet/body-judgment “free zone”.

I guess I should back up and tell you why I believe a body acceptance ~ diet-free space is important. Read More

This blog is intended for educational and informational purposes only. If you are in need of professional services, please call me to schedule an appointment or contact a professional in your area.